Lost Without You
by Raspberry Muffin
Summary: Songfic, Sam’s thoughts about her and Martin’s relationship. Pls review!


A/N: Little songfic. Completely M/S!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

_I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes_

_A little righteous and too proud_

_I just want to find a way to compromise_

_Cos I believe that we can work things out_

I do want to tell him, I guess I am scared. About what he'll say, if he loves me too. I'm pretty sure he does, I can see it in his eyes. I know he's getting tired of waiting...waiting for those words that he longs to hear.

I know that he won't wait forever, but I know that we can work it out. I just have to tell him.

_I thought I had all the answers never giving in_

_But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong_

I don't know why I can't tell him. Myabe I am stubborn. There's just something holding me back. It's just a feeling inside.

I want to say the words, but when I try, and I see his hopeful eyes- I feel like there's something choking me. Something smothering me, keeping the words in.

_All I know is I'm lost without you _

_I'm not gonna lie_

_How am I going to be strong without you _

_I need you by my side_

I'm pretty sure it's fear, everyone I've loved have left me. I don't think he will, but you never know. His family won't approve. Will he chose them or me?

I do know I love him, stronger than I've felt it before. We have this...connection, chemistry. And it's amazing.

_If we ever say we'll never be together _

_and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do _

_I'm lost without you_

I'm sitting in my empty apartment, he's not here tonight. And if I don't tell him, I know he won't be here again.

I'm not trying to push him away, I'm just so used to keeping people at a distance. Not letting them in, means less hurt for me. But this hurts so much.

_I keep trying to find my way _

_but all I know is I'm lost without you_

_I keep trying to face the day _

_I'm lost without you_

I want him to be here with me, snuggling on the couch, sitting in the kitchen, anything. I miss him, even though I saw him less than 2 hours ago. I have to tell him, I don't want to lose him. I love him, everytime I have a minute to myself, I catch me thinking of him. I can get lost in his eyes, in him.

_How am I ever gonna get rid of these blues_

_Baby I'm so lonely all the time_

_Everywhere I go I get so confused_

_You're the only thing that's on my mind_

I want to let my walls down, and let him in. I will, I have to. But it's hard. I want to tell everyone, I think Danny suspects. I don't know about the others, but I want them to know. I want everyone to. I'm so much happier now, I'm happiest when I'm with him. And I want them to know.

_Oh my beds so cold at night _

_and I miss you more each day_

_Only you can make it right _

_no I'm not too proud to say_

I pick up the phone shakily, and dial the number that I know off by heart.

"Hello." he mumbled, he sounded tired.

"Martin, sorry did I wake you?"

"Sam? You alright?" he asked, concerned.

My heart seemed to stop for a moment, hearing the love and concern in his voice. That's one of the reasons why I love him so much.

_All I know is I'm lost without you _

_I'm not gonna lie_

_How am I going to be strong without you _

_I need you by my side_

"I'm fine." I replied. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I was just resting, couldn't sleep."

I sighed, knowing it was probably partly to do with me why he couldn't sleep. The added feeling of guilt, made me more sure I had to tell him tonight.

"We...I need to see you, can we talk?"

"Okay." he replied cautiously. "Do you want me to come over?"

"Sure, I mean, if that's alright?"

"Yeah it's fine. I'll see you in about 20." he answered, a note of worry in in voice. "Bye."

"Bye." I said, hanging the phone up.

_If we ever say we'll never be together _

_and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do_

_I'm lost without you_

"Hey," I said opening the door to him.

He smiled, I could tell he was worried about I wanted to talk about with him. "Hi."

"Well..." I began, leading him over to the couch. "I've been thinking about what's been happening the past few weeks."

He opened his mouth as if to say something, "Please Martin, can I finish?"

He nodded, his mouth shutting. I knew that if I didn't get it all out, I would lose my nerve and back out.

"I know it's been hard, and I don't mean to seem like I'm shutting you out. It's just my way of dealing. This is all new to me..." I got up and crossed over to the window, my back to him. "I've never felt like this with anyone before. But I've started to realise that it makes sense." I looked over at him and smiled. "I love you Martin."

He looked up sharply, his eyes showing his surprise. He got up and walked over to her. "Really?" he asked, his eyes searching mine.

I nodded, a grin forming on my face. "I love you Martin Fitzgerald."

He smiled back, wrapping me in his arms. "I love you too Samantha Spade." Reaching up, I pulled him down to kiss him.

_I keep trying to find my way _

_but all I know is I'm lost without you_

_I keep trying to face the day _

_I'm lost without you_


End file.
